Politics

It’s politics season in Nigeria. Folk are literally going nuts positioning themselves for the bounty of the nation’s cake. With alarming regularity people ask me whether I am attempting or interested in running for office. A political position in Nigeria. Me? NEVER
National cake eating aside, this is something I have never ever had any interest in. Why?
1. The corruption. I haven’t cut any corners or fucked anyone over to get this far. This allows me to move around securely and sleep soundly at night.
2. I abhor the common practice of buying elections with ‘bags of rice’ and donations
3. I speak no local languages so wouldn’t be very good at it anyhow.
4. They couldn’t control me. Above all else, I am a man of principle.
5. I hate politics. Especially the Byzantine nature of things in Nigeria
6. The legacy corruption.
Whenever I mention any of the above, people just roll their eyes. They think it’s just posturing until the opportunity arises and I get called for some political off...